不可不看的《男人經》（2）

　　有些女人，與男人交往，沒有甚麼問題，有些女人則不是。這與文化、宗教、家庭環境、所受教育，以及其他因素有關。在不同程度下，男女關係會以多種形式出現，無論雙方是朋友、柏拉圖式、情愛浪漫或師徒關係，溝通是非常重要的元素。由於我在大家庭下成長，有3個兄弟和 5個堂兄弟，所以我和男人在溝通上是從來沒有問題的，不過我承認該年代的男人比較單純及有正念。

　　為了令香港女性更了解男性，我們花了4個月時間，訪問了100位具以下條件的鑽石王老五：

　　1. 年齡：介乎31至65歲。

　　2. 婚姻狀況：單身、離婚、鰥夫。

　　3. 教育程度：大學畢業佔89%，其他學歷佔11%。

　　4. 收入程度：一年收入少於80萬佔19%，一年收入80萬或以上佔81%。

　　5. 國籍：華人佔80%，西人佔20%。

　　6. 香港文化：95%居於香港3年或以上。

　　7. 擇偶目標：以認真的態度找老婆，想盡快結婚。

訪問結果

　　在我的新書《男人經》內，詳細記錄了以上訪問的數據，得出的結果既吸引又有趣，舉幾個例子：

　　1. 不論受訪男性的年齡如何，67%都想找35歲或以下的女性作伴侶！

　　2. 他們認為性格、溝通方式、外表是首3項擇偶條件。

　　3. 他們對有「公主病」、臭脾氣、囉囉嗦嗦和控制欲強的的女性沒好感。

　　4. 他們需要個人空間和自由。

　　5. 對他們來說，能煮一頓好菜很重要。

　　6. 大部分女人願意接受對方與前妻所生的孩子，但男人則不願意接受對方與前夫所生的孩子。

　　令人驚訝的是，在外在美方面，例如胸部、臀部有多大、腿有多長、「事業線」有多深、擦甚麼香水，均不入十大擇偶條件內。而高貴優雅、整潔俐落，比感官享受和誘惑感更加重要。男人是喜歡看性感的女人，但只限於看「其他女人」，事實上，大部分男人不喜歡自己的女人給其他男人色迷迷地盯著。

總結

　　　雖然這調查並不算極度詳盡、嚴謹或明確，我們卻聚焦地反映在香港的擇偶問題。不論單身的男人年齡有多大，都想找一個年輕、漂亮、溫柔體貼的女人。對他們來說，擁有高學歷和成功事業的女人並不是最吸引。相反，本地想找配偶的單身女人，大多數都是35歲以上，她們擁有的正是高學歷、名銜、有權有勢的工作和獨立個性，非常自我，不樂於遷就，而男人對這些女人興趣真不大。

　　做個堅強的女人，當然沒甚麼問題，但想以「女強人」的姿態吸引男人是另一回事。美國著名歌星Helen Reddy便以「我很堅強、我打不死、我是女人」的姿態出現，美國女子組合Destiny’s Child和女歌手Christina Aguilera，更將「女強人」的姿態向前推進，而加拿大民謠女歌手Shania Twain和美國女歌手Meredith Brooks將此觀念推至高峰，真嚇人！

　　此調查中是充斥著「大男人主義」，如果你未婚的姊妹們力勸你站穩陣腳，你都要懂得分辦對與錯，因為我敢保證，她們大部分所說都是謬誤。進行這個調查的目的，並不是鼓吹粗暴行為，亦不是鼓吹火藥味的回應，而是想兩性之間有更多的了解，希望兩性之間焦慮減少。

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

The Man Manual (2)

　　Some women are comfortable in the company of men, some are not. It has to do with culture, religion, family upbringing and education, among other issues. Men–women relationships can take on many forms on different levels, and whether the relationship is fraternal, platonic, roman¬tic, or one of mentoring, communication is always the key. Growing up in a large family with three brothers and five male cousins, I have never, at any age, had a problem talking to men. Having said that, I have to admit that it was a lot simpler in the days when men were less complicated and more wholesome.

　　To help Hong Kong women understand their men better, we have spent four months inter-viewing 100 men with the demographics described below:

　　1. Age – 31 to 65.

　　2. Marital status – single, divorced or widowed.

　　3. Education – 89% university graduates, 11% others.

　　4. Income Level – 19% below $800k p.a., 81% above.

　　5. Nationality – 80% Chinese 20% Caucasians.

　　6. Hong Kong Culture – 95% have lived in HK for longer than 3 years.

　　7. Seeking – seriously looking to find a wife & get married soon.

Finding

　　There are many detailed statistics documented in the book, and these revelations are both fascinating and interesting. A few random examples:

　　1. Regardless what age these men may be, 67% prefer women under the age of 35 !

　　2. Men name personality, communications and appearance as their top 3 most important criteria

　　3. They dislike women with princess attitude, foul temper, and those who are nagging & controlling.

　　4. A man needs his space and his freedom.

　　5. Good food is important to them.

　　 6. While most women would be willing to accept children from a spouse’s previous marriage, most men would not.

　　In terms of "physical beauty", surprisingly, breasts, buttocks, legs, cleavage and perfume all ranked below 10. Being classy and elegant, and well groomed were rated far, far ahead of being "sensuous and seductive". Men like to look at sexy women alright, but strictly "other women". They absolutely loathe it when other men are gawking at their own ladies.

Summary

　　This survey is neither very elaborate nor rigorous, it is nevertheless focused, and it does depict a fairly clear synopsis of our problems in Hong Kong. Most available men, regardless of age, are seeking younger women who are pretty, gentle and accommodating. A higher education and career success are immaterial to them. Whereas, most of our unmarried women looking for men are older than 35; they are not always attractive and not very accommodating. What they have to offer are fancy degrees, fancy titles, pow¬er jobs and independence – none of which is relevant to our men.

　　Being a strong woman is one thing, rubbing a man’s nose in it is another. Helen Reddy started this attitude years ago with her "I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman!" Destiny's Child and Christina Aguilera perpetuated it to new heights… while the likes of Shania Twain and Meredith Brooks could literally kick-start an orgasm… Scary.

　　Yes, chauvinism seeps through everywhere in this survey. If the sisterhood of unmarried girlfriends are pleading with you to stand your ground, be righteous and rancorous come what may, I can assure you that such a line of reasoning is fallacious. The purpose of this survey is neither to nurture asperities nor encourage acrimonious responses, but to bring about better understanding between the sexes in the hope of ameliorating tension. We stand above it all because we are bigger than this.