自戀新世代

　　不少著作盛讚千禧世代（於1982年至1999年期間出生的世代）有拯救世界的抱負，是有為、樂於助人、富有公民責任的年輕人。William Strauss及Neil Howe更形容現今二十出頭的年輕人是有史以來「最好的一代」。可是，Jean Twenge及Keith Campbell的最新研究結果卻顯示不然。他們的研究顯示千禧世代對權力的認知有誤，這一代人自私又自我中心，事實上是歷史上「最自戀的一代」。各執其詞，究竟誰對誰錯？

　　由Howe及Strauss著寫的《Millennials Rising》是2000年的出品，但由Drs. Twenge及Campbel的《 The Narcissism Epidemic》是2009年的著作，而且進行了一百二十萬次訪問，並比較了幾十年來三代人的個性測試結果，加上我對佔領行動中學生行為的觀察：學生們有計劃的挑釁行徑、精心部署的警民衝突、對他人意見的決絕、公然藐視法律……基於種種因素，我傾向同意Professors Twenge及Campbell的講法，指這一代人權力膨脹、自戀、傲慢，並未準備好面對成人世界中的現實。

　　自戀是由Sigmund Freud最先提出的精神分析理論中的一個概念。自戀是一種人格障礙，代表個人想法的過度膨脹，追求別人對自己的能力及貢獻的肯定，從而獲得滿足感。長久以來，不同的哲學家曾嘗試解構這個自我膨脹的概念，過往，他們會視此為目中無人，是與現實脫節後所產生的極端自負與傲慢，直至近年，自戀是障礙的這個說法在心理學上引起科研的興趣，大家對其看法亦有所改變。 

　　自戀升溫敲響了警鐘，這個風潮將為社會各個層面帶來破壞性的影響。即使是全球經濟亦被這種危險、不切實際的過份自信所破壞。猶如瘟疫的它無處不在地滲透入我們文化當中。學生們尚未畢業，從來未做過一天的全職工作，未曾交過稅，卻自以為有統領世界的能力。他們站出來發聲只因他們沒有能力在畢業後置業，卻忘記了我們這一代人亦如是。我們透過辛勤的工作與儲蓄堅持下去，達致成功，而他們則透過抗爭來換取所需。本應教授學生們正確價值的師長竟也參與其中，縱容這種自我地追求金錢、地位及權力的文化。你突圍而出並非因為你的做法正確，而是你大聲夾惡，為達到目的而目中無人、好生是非又荒謬絕倫……這個做法會帶來即時的利益，能夠在媒體曝光，在眾人的目光下腎上腺素隨之上升……如果大家可以既往不咎，這五分鐘的光環多給你又如何。

　　誰要負上負任？當然是自戀，它是現今著重個人表現的教育方式，以及媒體吹捧崇拜及提升自我下的產物。只因溺愛孩子的父母為填補不能陪伴兒女的時間，以物質作為補償；因為他們把孩子捧在掌手，視如大帝；又因為他們在扮演「朋友」的角色，而非「父母」。自戀的年輕一代愛在Facebook上抱怨，名人的自戀則提升到一個藝術層次。傲慢無禮是現時愛挑戰上層權威及抑制紀律下的產物，每個孩子明明不一樣，卻硬把他們一視同仁，故培育出愛違抗的態度。自滿被視為成功的先決條件，而非成功的結果。

　　同樣道理，不少單身者持有這種我有選擇權利的想法，認為無人能夠與自己相稱，事實是別人也不想要他們，尋伴之路就當然困難。 同樣的態度又教不少男人背著妻子尋歡，因為他們想要的必要到手才罷休。同樣原因導致不忠、離婚、破碎家庭、惡霸小孩愈來愈多，情況就一直惡性循環下去。

　　作為負責任的家長及上級，我們先要學會把自戀辨別出來，找出來後好好管制它，減低它能維持及傳遞下去的力量。由現時的慘局來看，它讓我們看見現時錯誤的教育方式下的後遺症，它亦是個警告，提醒我們不要再讓問題滋長下去，並希望以此作為開端，在未來更廣泛地剖析文化。

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

The Millennials

  Many books and articles celebrate Millennials (born, 1982 to 1999) as promising, helpful, civically oriented young people who want to save the planet. William Strauss & Neil Howe wrote that today’s 20-somethings represent the “Greatest Generation” of all times . But new research by Jean Twenge and Keith Campbell suggests otherwise. They argued that Millennials have a false sense of entitlement, they are selfish, self-centered, and are in fact, the “Most Narcissistic Generation” in history. Which view is correct?

  Considering Howe and Strauss’s Millennials Rising was published in 2000, while Drs. Twenge and Campbell’s The Narcissism Epidemic was published in 2009, supported by intensive research of 1.2 million interviews, comparing decades of personality test results across three generations, and judging from my own observation  of the students’ behaviour in Occupy Central, their calculated provocations, deliberate confrontations with the police, their adamant  refusal to listen to anybody, their blatant defiance of the law… I tend to agree with Professors Twenge and Campbell’s findings that younger generations are increasingly entitled, self-obsessed, haughty and unprepared for the realities of adult life.   

  Narcissism is a personality disorder, an over inflated opinion of oneself, the pursuit of gratification from egotistic admiration of one’s own abilities and attributes  - a concept in psychoanalytic theory first introduced by Sigmund Freud.  The concept of an excess-ively high opinion of self has been explored by various philosophers throughout history. This used to be known as hubris, a state of extreme arrogance and haughtiness that often involves being out of touch with reality. It wasn’t until recently that the notion of narcissism as a disorder became a subject of scientific interest in the field of psychology. 

  The alarming rise of narcissism has catastrophic effects at every level of society. Even the world economy has been damaged by risky, unrealistic overconfidence. This new plague is everywhere, it permeates our culture. Students who have yet to graduate,  never done a day’s work, never paid a cent of tax, hubristically think they can rule the world. And so they stamp their feet and yell because they cannot afford to buy an apartment after graduation - conveniently forgetting that neither could we in our generation. Only we persevere and succeed through hard work and savings, and they want to achieve the same through protests. Instead of showing them the right core values,  the teachers join in, condoning a culture severely tilted toward a narcissistic focus on  money, status and power...You win by being loud, not by being right. Achieve your goals by being defiant, belligerent and absurd… this method comes with quick fringe benefits, that picture in  the headlines, TV interviews, that rush of adrenalin when one stands up to command an audience and be heard…And so, that 5 minute fame makes it all worthwhile never mind if one has quite forgotten the cause.

  Who shoulders the blame ? Narcissism is in fact, the unanticipated consequence of the emphasis placed on self-promotion in modern parenting, fed by social media that reinforce an obsessive need for admiration and ego-enhancement. Doting parents teach it by offering their children material rewards in compensation for their neglect due to lack of time , by calling their children “Little Tyrants” with a smile, by being a “friend”  instead of a “parent”. Teenagers and young adults hone it on Facebook, and celebrity newsmakers elevate it to an art form.  The  modern culture of  superiors subduing authority and repressing discipline elicit only insolence, respecting every child as “equal” when they are not, nurtures only defiance. Feelings of self-worth are considered a prerequisite to success, rather than a result of it. 

  It is this same sense of entitlement that later on makes it difficult for singles to find spouses because nobody seems good enough for them, those who are don’t want them. It is this same attitude that makes men stray from their wives, because what they want they must have. And so - the high infidelity rate, high divorce rate, increasing number of broken homes, kids running amok.. - the vicious circle continues. 

  As responsible parents and superiors, we must first learn how to identify narcissism, minimize the forces that sustain and transmit it,  manage it where we find it. The present fiasco is at once a window into the consequences of misguided parenting, a warning to combat the widespread problems it causes, and hopefully, the beginning of a probing analysis of the culture at large.