打敗寂寞
#Sex & Relationship甚麼是寂寞？寂寞由空虛而生，令人感到生活乏味。隨著年齡漸長，每逢大時大節，寂寞感便更添痛苦。不少人會否認寂寞，並認為承認是種恥辱。
每當我聽到別人表示喜歡獨處時，不禁「毛管戙」，這類人通常不敢對愛情有希望、怕被拒絕、怕失望，怕別人覺得自己很可憐，所以才用「自己一個人也活得很快樂」之類的話當藉口。
跟據聖經的創始，人類的起源就是一對亞當與夏娃。無神論者，且看看自己的身體吧：眼、耳、手、腳、肺、肝、腎等，都是成雙成對的。雖然人只有一個鼻子、一張嘴巴，但鼻子有兩個鼻孔，嘴也是由上下雙唇組成。心臟雖然只有一個，但由兩個心房和兩個心室組成。世間有很多東西皆是成雙成對，地球有兩極，筷子有兩根，何況是人呢？
天職、婚姻和獨身是人生三大選擇。有人首選為宗教的使命，追求人與神的關係；婚姻是最多人想擁有，并為之努力的；而獨身通常是迫不得已，有誰會真心喜歡一個人去看戲、吃飯或旅行呢？
打敗寂寞的第一步是坦誠。明明不開心，還要騙自己很快樂，這只會將孤寂延長。當寂寞來臨，可笑著對自己說：「雖然不喜歡，但幸好我還可應付到！我會努力尋找適合自己的伴侶！」對自己誠實，會令你耳目一新。
其次，抱怨對尋找伴侶毫無幫助。與其不斷抱怨，不如積極面對，自己先踏出第一步。重新整頓自己的生活，例如裝扮自己、培養新的愛好、自我增值、結識新朋友等，對身邊的人更有禮、更寬容、更懂得關心和體貼別人，令自己變得更受歡迎。
此外，說話輕聲細語、控制自己的脾氣、笑多一點，可令你更好看、更有自信，變得容光煥發，所謂「相由心生」就是這個意思，做起事來也會更得心應手！
至於得到愛情的人別幸災樂禍，要對單身的人有恩慈之心，多鼓勵他們，跟獨自吃飯的人聊聊，大時大節時可邀請單身的朋友一起吃飯，正所謂「四海之內皆兄弟」，何樂而不為呢！
（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）
Combating Loneliness
What is loneliness? It is that dreadful feeling of emptiness which takes away the color + taste from a person's life; it gets worse during festive seasons and a lot more painful as we grow older. Yet there's such a social stigma about loneliness that lonely people seldom admit they are lonely.
It gives me goose bumps when I hear people exclaiming vehemently, “I like being alone!” or “I am quite happy being by myself!”… These are all blatant lies and the speaker is usually in denial…she does not dare to foster hope for fear of rejection or disappointment, or she is being preemptively defiant for fear that people might feel sorry for her.
Genesis began with Adam & Eve. For agnostic atheists, just check and see that most parts of the human body do come in pairs - eyes, ears, arms, legs, lungs, livers, kidneys… Only one nose? Yes, but two nostrils… Only one mouth? But two lips…Only one heart? But two receiving and two discharging chambers… The earth has two poles and even chopsticks come in pairs…
The three common choices of life are vocation, marriage and celibacy. Vocation is when one gets a calling from on high and wants to spend everlasting life developing a relationship with “the man upstairs” …Marriage is probably the most desirable just as celibacy is the least, because the latter is seldom a conscious “choice” per se, but rather an involuntary situation thrust upon us. Does anybody really enjoy going to the movie, dining out, or travelling alone? Rarely. Having a companion is much more fun, and one is indeed a lonely number.
Self denial is always destructive. The first step to combat loneliness is to admit that you don’t like it. By telling yourself you are happy when you are not, you unwittingly allow this lie to perpetuate the situation. Instead, learn to say, “I don’t enjoy being alone, but I manage. It would be nice to have a compatible life partner of course, and I am trying… Appropriate referrals appreciated!” Say it with a smile. It’s refreshingly honest and endearing.
Moaning is likewise not constructive. Instead of lamenting, take the situation into your hands and do something about it. Start by restructuring your life, so you’ll have more time to invest in yourself - your appearance, new hobbies, self enrichment programs, making new friends… Learn to be a better person, more courteous & caring, more tolerant & considerate - to EVERYBODY around you. Take that edge out of your voice, lose that attitude, mellow down that temper, smile more…As you look and feel better about yourself, you exude a new kind of confidence, a genuine goodness, a hearty laughter… you become more attractive, because the new radiance emanates from within… The rest will follow.
As for those who are blessed by loving relationships, instead of mocking the afflicted, be charitable. Instead of being complacent about your own good fortune, be supportive. Initiating a conversation with a lone diner is kind; inviting a lonely friend on festive occasions is kinder. Don’t say it is none of your business, cos “ Four seas are all brothers”.