異地良緣

　　在3月5日，《明報》刊登了一篇我的專訪，篇幅約半頁的專訪題目為「是否愈來愈多達『三高』標準的女士接受跨境婚姻？」。「三高」是指高學歷、高工作成就及高收入。

 

簡介：

 

　　香港集思會及立法會分別進行了兩個調查，結果不謀而合，由1997年至2012年，這16年來的跨境婚姻登記累積近40萬。過往，這種婚姻模式較常見於草根階層，但這股趨勢已捲至高收入人士的群組中。

 

問：你認為是否愈來愈多達「三高」標準的女性嫁往內地？

 

　　兩個報告均認為跨境婚姻較常見於月入低於9千元的家庭，但最近的調查卻顯示這些跨境婚姻的家庭月入達2萬5千元，收入上有明顯的升幅，不過一個收入約2萬5千元的家庭是否達「三高」標準就見人見智了。

 

問：你的客人會考慮跨境婚姻嗎？

 

　　我們只為大學學位持有者、高級行政人員及專業人士等高收入人士提供服務。我們八成的客人傾向在香港發展情緣，另外兩成，通常是45歲以上，較成熟的女性會考慮在美國、歐洲或澳洲結緣。公司成立8年來，我只遇過2個願意嫁給內地人，並移居內地的女士。

 

問：你對跨境婚姻的前景抱信心嗎？

 

　　當然。我寄望跨境婚姻會有普及的一天，希望在不久的將來發生。

 

問：為甚麼？

 

　　首先，無論在香港或中國均存在男女不均的問題。愈來愈多香港女性在本地及內地城市尋找她們的終身伴侶，相反亦然。試想像我們的女人會嫁給她們的男人，這不就是對雙方而言最好的解決辦法嗎？此外，香港需要正視人口老化的問題。愈快愈多女性能締結良緣，更多孩子出生的希望愈能成真。年齡中位數及老年撫養比率已頻臨界點，孩子出生就是紓解問題的唯一方法。

 

問：為何至今仍未發生？

 

　　我雖然生於香港，但我的外祖父來至內地，因為當時的港人寬宏以待，他們來港後並沒受到歧視。今天的港人已變得傲慢及欠缺耐性，大部分人視自己高人一等，歧視內地人，不知道他們並非次自己一等，只是雙方在社會文化、語言、生活模式及核心價值上存在差異。我們應該給他們多一點時間適應，如前人明白我們初到香港的祖先一樣理解他們。

 

　　閱讀文化是人類靈魂的基本。內地人培養閱讀文化，我們卻沒有。為追求知識，他們會在書展中排隊購買文化、經濟、政治、歷史的書籍，反觀我們會為兵器模型、漫畫，又或為一睹性感「口靚」模的姿色而大排長龍。事實上，無論在科學、建築、語言、體育，甚至小至歌藝上，他們都遠勝一籌。我們應向他們學習，而非傲慢相待。

 

問：在收窄分歧上，你有何建議？

 

　　教育。很多政府部門及非牟利機構已在此著手，並表現出色，不過，給予低下階層的服務較中上層為多。

 

　　小緣圈將於3月或4月聯同職業訓練局高峰進修學院舉辦全新的愛情關係學課程，內容涵概多個愛情關係議題，由約會、婚前關係、婚後關係、離婚糾紛的處理等。無論是已婚或單身的朋友都可以成為我們的會員。我們提供多個聯誼的機會，助參加者改善人際技巧。

 

　　希望大眾會認為我們的服務有所幫助。

 

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

 

Cross Border Marriages

 

  On 5th March, Ming Pao published a half page article about an interview with me, the topic was “Are More HK Women with 3 Highs Accepting Cross Border Marriages?”

 

  “3 Highs” meaning: high education, high career achievement & high income earners.

 

In synopsis:

 

  Two separate market survey reports by The HK Ideas Center and Legco arrived at the same conclusion that in the 16 years 1997 - 2012,   almost 400,000 accumulative cross border marriages were registered. While such liaisons were mostly among grass root families, there appears to be a migration towards “high income earners” now.

 

Q. Do you agree that more women with 3 highs are marrying men from the Mainland?

 

  Both reports agree that initially, cross border marriages would  hover around families with a household income below HK$9,000/month. Recent survey shows their household income to be around HK$25,000/month. This increase is significant, but whether one could qualify HK$25,000 household income as “3 highs” would be subjective.

 

Q. Would your clients consider cross border marriages?

 

  We only accept university graduates, senior executives and professionals in the higher income group. 80% of our clients prefer to stay in HK, 20% (usually the more mature ladies above the age of 45) may consider overseas matching in the States, Europe or Australia. In the 8 years since our company has been established, I have only met 2 ladies who would be willing to marry mainlanders and move to China. 

 

Q. Do you believe in the future of cross border marriages?

 

  Absolutely. I wish this will become widely popular some day, hopefully within the not so distant future. 

 

Q. Why  ?

 

  Firstly, both Hong Kong and China have a gender imbalance problem. We have more women looking for husbands here and in many cities in China, it is vice versa.  Imagine our women would marry their men, wouldn’t that be the perfect solution to both problems !   Moreover, HK needs to address our ageing population issue seriously. The quicker and more women get married, the quicker and more children they will hopefully bring to the world. That is the only way to lower our median age and elderly dependency ratio which is now racing towards critical levels !

 

Q. So why isn’t this happening yet ?

 

  I was born in Hong Kong, but my grandparents came from China. They didn’t suffer any discrimination then because people were more tolerant. Today, we have become arrogant and intolerant, many of us consider ourselves superior and would discriminate against Mainlanders, failing to see that they are not inferior, we just have different social culture, languages, lifestyle, and core values. We should offer them time and understanding just as others had shown to our ancestors when they first came to HK !

 

  Reading culture is the fundamental substance of the human soul. The mainlanders have reading culture, we don’t. People visiting Book Fairs in China would queue up for intellectual pursuits - cultural, economical, political, historical books... We queue up for plastic swords & toys, manga, and a glimpse of sexy young models. The truth is, whether it is science, architecture, languages, sports, or something as trivial as singing, they surpass us by miles. Instead of being arrogant, we should learn from them.

 

Q. How do you propose to bridge the gap ?

 

  Education. Many government depts. and NGOs  are already doing a great deal in this respect, and doing it very well. However, there are more services available to lower income group than to the upper middle class.

 

  MeilingCircle(小緣圈)will be launching in collaboration with VTC’s PEAK College a new Relationship Education program in March/April, covering many relationship topics from dating, pre-marital, post marital, conflict resolution to divorce… Membership is opened to all,  both married & singles. We also offer  members plenty of events and networking opportunities to help polish their skills. 

 

  We hope the public would find our services useful.

 

 

 《經濟通》所刊的署名及／或不署名文章，相關內容屬作者個人意見，並不代表《經濟通》立場，《經濟通》所扮演的角色是提供一個自由言論平台。

• 

《說說心理話》與你分享應對性騷擾三部曲，減輕心理陰影創傷、提升自我肯定方法 ► 即睇